


BrendonandRyan

by orphan_account



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, Not really an AU, this entire fic is me being fake poetic, this is actually like the reason i crave death, what kind of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 12:33:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7892470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was always just BrendonandRyan.</p><p>Then it wasn't anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	BrendonandRyan

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brbsinning](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brbsinning/gifts).



> (i made this for u lex how do u like it)

_ They had a good few years. They really did. They worked well together, even though nobody quite knew _ how.  _ Brendon, a loud, boisterous, overdramatic kid, and Ryan, quiet, thoughtful, reserved, and far too mature for his age. But nobody questioned it. It was just always them, no other options. BrendonandRyan.  _

 

_ They looked sweetly into each other’s eyes as Brendon sang out a tune written about him, they kissed lightly and often. When Ryan was upset, which seemed to happen less often when Brendon was around, Brendon would stay up until Ryan’s tears had stopped overflowing and the only trace of Ryan’s sadness was the taste of salt on Brendon’s lips.  _

 

_ It was a good run, with arguments few and far between. As far as all parties involved were concerned, they loved each other with all of their hearts.  _

 

_ Brendon made sure to remind Ryan every chance he got. When he woke up, he would let Ryan know that he loves him. Whenever Ryan’s tears made a reappearance, he would give Ryan a long kiss, then hug him, whispering in his ear, ‘I’ll love you, forever and always.’ Brendon kept to his promise.  _

 

_ As the years piled up, a tradition joined with it.  _

 

_ “I love you, Brendon. Do you love me too?” Would escape Ryan’s lips, as if the kiss that came shortly before had coaxed it out of his lips. _

 

_ “I’ll love you, forever and always.” _

 

_ They moved in together. Built a life that revolved around them. BrendonandRyan. Built stories, and songs, and lyrics together. Built love, and happiness, and  _ stability,  _ and surrounded themselves with love. It was always just BrendonandRyan.  _

 

_ Then it wasn’t anymore.  _

 

“Brendon, I- uh, we need to call the band together for a meeting,” Ryan says nervously, scratching his neck. 

 

“Alright, sweetie. When should we do that?”

 

“Um, today?” Ryan squeaks out, sounding as if he were about to burst into tears. 

 

“Ryan, what’s wrong?” Brendon furrows his brows, getting up from the dining table and approaching Ryan.

 

“N-nothing,” Ryan stutters, jumping away from Brendon’s hand.

 

“Al-alright. Just, if you need to talk, I’m here, you know that,” Brendon says, obviously hurt. 

 

“Can you please just call a meeting?” Ryan says, running his hands through his hair. 

 

Brendon calls for the meeting, and they wait in silence, at opposite ends of the couch. When Jon and Spencer finally arrive, they can barely see through the tension.

 

“Okay- um, so, Jon and I- uhh,” Ryan gulps, sending a small glance to Jon. 

 

Ryan fiddles with the hem of his tshirt, trying to regain his courage, “Jon a-and I- I, we- we are gonna...” he stops again, a tear escaping his eye.    
  


“Ryan and I are leaving the band,” Jon rushes. 

 

Brendon stops toying with his hoodie, looking up at Ryan. Ryan’s heart breaks at the sight of Brendon’s pain-stricken expression.

  
“Really?” Brendon asks, his voice a whisper. 

 

“Re-really,” Ryan confirms, his voice cracking and more tears escaping his eyes. 

 

Brendon bursts up from the couch, walking quickly to his and Ryan’s bedroom. He slams the door, the already loud noise amplified by the silence in their apartment. He slumps down onto the floral-patterned sheets, the ones Ryan picked out. 

 

What seems like an eternity of stewing emotions later, Ryan quietly opens the bedroom door and slips in.

 

“Bren?” he asks.

 

“Don’t call me that. Please,” Brendon’s voice is muffled by the sheets. 

 

“Brendon, why are you acting like this?” Ryan asks, sitting on the bed and rubbing Brendon’s back, “all I’m doing is leaving the band.”

 

“Why? Why are you leaving the band?”

 

“Because- because it’s hard to work with you. We have different ideas, and we don’t work well together.”

 

“So it’s because we’ve been arguing a lot lately.”

 

“Well- um, yes. Yeah, it is,” Ryan quiets even more, barely audible. 

“I was thinking- if I left the band, we could- um- it would be easier when…” he trails off. 

 

“When what? Are you breaking up with me?” Brendon lifts his head, his eyes puffy and red.

 

“Y-yes,” Ryan sniffles, breaking out into sobs.

 

Brendon lowers his head onto the sheets, his eyes welling up again. 

 

“I’ll move out by eight tonight,” Ryan whispers, getting up from the bed. 

 

The rest of the day is spent with Ryan packing, as Brendon lies on the bed in various anguished positions. 

 

When eight comes, Brendon doesn’t want to say goodbye. Eight o’ clock, on a Sunday, the day that BrendonandRyan were BrendonandRyan no more. 

 

Brendon gets up from the bed, moping towards the front door, where Ryan stood, suitcase and backpack already in his car.

 

“So. This is it. The end. Of us,” Brendon wipes his nose with his sleeve. 

 

“Yeah,” Ryan answers.

 

“I’m gonna miss you. My life will be different.”

 

“I know. Mine is gonna be different, too,” Ryan lets out a humorless chuckle. 

 

Both of their eyes begin to glisten, and Brendon pulls Ryan into a kiss. They stand there for what seems like hours, connected at the lips. Ryan pulls away first, hooking his chin over Brendon’s shoulder. 

 

“I love you, Brendon. Do you love me too?” he asks.

 

“I’ll love you, forever and always. But not right now,” Brendon pulls away, lightly shoving Ryan out of the doorway. 

 

He slams the door on Ryan, turns around, and falls to the floor, sobbing.

 

Little does he know Ryan did the exact same thing on the other side. 

  
_ BrendonandRyan doesn’t exist, and it never will again.  _

**Author's Note:**

> ACTUALLY MURDER ME LOOK AT ALL THAT A N G S T 
> 
> i call this fic 'im trying to be poetic and angsty and emo but im really not because im actually like a one year old and cannot process complex emotions'


End file.
